1 00:00:00,695 --> 00:00:02,800 [FEMALE ANNOUNCER] A Pop Original Series. 2 00:00:03,789 --> 00:00:05,584 [JOE] Previously on, "Let's Get Physical". 3 00:00:05,590 --> 00:00:07,306 Dance is a form of healing. 4 00:00:07,312 --> 00:00:09,129 I can't... you guys aren't buying this, right? 5 00:00:09,135 --> 00:00:12,347 I live with my mom and my life is falling apart! 6 00:00:12,353 --> 00:00:15,935 I'm married to a man who just sees what he wants and he takes it. 7 00:00:15,941 --> 00:00:18,332 He bops you over the head and drags you back to his cave? 8 00:00:18,338 --> 00:00:19,538 Wow. 9 00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:22,574 [FEMALE NARRATOR] And now, the Competitive Aerobic Championship 10 00:00:22,580 --> 00:00:23,792 proudly presents... 11 00:00:23,798 --> 00:00:26,479 - _ - (BANGING) 12 00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:29,151 - _ - (BANGING) 13 00:00:29,157 --> 00:00:30,642 - _ - (BELL DINGS) 14 00:00:30,648 --> 00:00:32,469 (LIGHTSABER ACTIVATES) 15 00:00:32,475 --> 00:00:34,052 (EXPLOSION) 16 00:00:34,058 --> 00:00:35,961 [FEMALE NARRATOR] After Joe's defeat, 17 00:00:36,141 --> 00:00:39,291 - he left aerobics to pursue a life of leisure, - [JOE] I'm okay. I'm okay. 18 00:00:39,882 --> 00:00:43,983 while Barry used the victory to build a fitness legacy. 19 00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:46,248 As Joe sunk deeper, 20 00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:48,433 - Barry soared higher. - _ 21 00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:51,241 [BARRY] The word, "rivalry" is being used a lot here, 22 00:00:51,247 --> 00:00:52,735 - but I don't see it that way. - _ 23 00:00:52,741 --> 00:00:55,545 To me, this is, uh, a celebration of life. 24 00:00:55,551 --> 00:00:57,913 Are we rivals? Yeah, of course. 25 00:00:57,919 --> 00:01:00,637 - I hate Barry Cross. He's... - Hey, hey buddy. 26 00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:02,054 How do you think you're gonna do? Hm? 27 00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:03,471 How you gonna do, you gonna do alright? 28 00:01:03,477 --> 00:01:05,586 Didn't mean to interrupt. Good luck out there. 29 00:01:05,592 --> 00:01:07,597 Woooo! Chubby wubby. 30 00:01:07,789 --> 00:01:09,414 [FEMALE NARRATOR] The stage is set, 31 00:01:09,420 --> 00:01:12,260 tensions are tight. Like very tight. 32 00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:17,366 - (EXPLOSION) - Let's get ready to tumble! 33 00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:23,961 (APPLAUSE) 34 00:01:23,967 --> 00:01:25,853 - Thank you, thank you! - _ 35 00:01:25,859 --> 00:01:28,266 And, wow, thank you, everyone for being here. 36 00:01:28,272 --> 00:01:30,273 Barry, always amazing. 37 00:01:30,279 --> 00:01:32,484 Indeed. Um, I'd just like to also add, 38 00:01:32,490 --> 00:01:34,442 uh, no disrespect to our fellow competitors, 39 00:01:34,448 --> 00:01:36,623 but this really is a two-man race. 40 00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:39,349 Joe, so brave. 41 00:01:39,355 --> 00:01:43,683 You are the prodigal son of aerobics. Welcome back. 42 00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:45,602 - (MICROPHONE FEEDBACK) - (SLURRING SPEECH) Thank you, Paula. 43 00:01:45,608 --> 00:01:48,394 Sorry, I did not know we were dressing up for this event. 44 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,903 Now, Joe, the news of your father's death 45 00:01:50,909 --> 00:01:52,992 rocked the aerobics community. 46 00:01:53,182 --> 00:01:56,283 We know that you're presenting his CAC Icon Award 47 00:01:56,289 --> 00:01:58,676 at the gala tonight, but can you take a moment now 48 00:01:58,682 --> 00:02:01,409 to share with us what he meant to you personally? 49 00:02:01,415 --> 00:02:04,510 (SLURRING) Yeah, check this out. Look, he was my dad. 50 00:02:04,867 --> 00:02:07,376 You guys knew him as the Godfather of Aerobics, 51 00:02:07,382 --> 00:02:09,395 but he was just my dad, you know? 52 00:02:09,995 --> 00:02:11,892 - Ummmmmm... - (MICROPHONE FEEDBACK) 53 00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:16,996 I remember him as a guy who taught me how to ride a bike, 54 00:02:17,173 --> 00:02:20,109 who... showed me how to fish, 55 00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:24,390 ah... who showed me how to shave my legs for a performance 56 00:02:24,570 --> 00:02:27,556 but I ran away from home 57 00:02:27,562 --> 00:02:30,600 to pursue a career that didn't pan out. 58 00:02:30,686 --> 00:02:32,773 It's tough, father-son... you know. 59 00:02:32,779 --> 00:02:34,858 You get it. How's your thing with your dad? 60 00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:36,975 - Oh... - Yeah, yeah, it's probably good. 61 00:02:36,981 --> 00:02:40,284 - I regret a lot. I regret... - (FUMBLING WITH MICROPHONE) 62 00:02:40,963 --> 00:02:42,895 You know, I have regrets. 63 00:02:43,046 --> 00:02:44,857 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm good. 64 00:02:44,948 --> 00:02:47,544 - Can we... can we get him some water? - Yeah, let's get some water. 65 00:02:47,550 --> 00:02:48,750 - You want something to drink, too? - (SLOW CLAPPING) 66 00:02:48,756 --> 00:02:50,388 I'm fine, thank you. 67 00:02:50,536 --> 00:02:54,451 Jean-Claude Van Damme! What a performance! 68 00:02:54,868 --> 00:02:58,759 Ah, don't buy any of this sappy, after-school special bullshit. 69 00:02:58,765 --> 00:03:02,696 because this imposter doesn't care about aerobics. 70 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:06,159 He never respected his father's career like I did. 71 00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:09,789 Most importantly, he doesn't care about you. 72 00:03:10,255 --> 00:03:12,779 But you know who does care about you? 73 00:03:13,075 --> 00:03:15,595 Barry f-in' Cross. 74 00:03:16,270 --> 00:03:17,866 Look under your seats. 75 00:03:18,169 --> 00:03:21,349 Who wants a Metbit? 76 00:03:21,355 --> 00:03:24,071 - (CHEERING) - You get a Metbit! You get a Metbit! 77 00:03:24,077 --> 00:03:28,369 And you get a Metbit! You get a Metbit! You get a Metbit! 78 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,338 - (CLATTERING) - You get a Metbit! 79 00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,681 - (MICROPHONE FEEDBACK) - (GROANS) 80 00:03:31,687 --> 00:03:33,181 You don't get a Metbit. 81 00:03:34,499 --> 00:03:36,218 I could use that water. 82 00:03:36,814 --> 00:03:41,286 - ♪ Let's get physical, physical ♪ - Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com - 83 00:03:41,292 --> 00:03:43,101 (GROANING) 84 00:03:43,304 --> 00:03:44,835 - Oof. - (GROANING) 85 00:03:44,841 --> 00:03:47,114 I'm not gonna puke. I won't... eww! 86 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,443 Oh, snap, yo! 87 00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:51,212 I found the goods! 88 00:03:52,726 --> 00:03:56,215 Bulk Blast 5000. He's on a weight-cut cocktail. 89 00:03:56,221 --> 00:03:57,833 Ignitro Cut. 90 00:03:57,839 --> 00:04:01,921 What happened to good old fashioned starvation? Laxatives? Bulimia? 91 00:04:01,927 --> 00:04:05,332 I haven't worn a 'tard in years, I wanted to look pretty! 92 00:04:05,625 --> 00:04:07,629 - But pretty isn't free! - (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) 93 00:04:07,635 --> 00:04:09,722 What the fuck is going on? 94 00:04:10,129 --> 00:04:13,555 He's gonna need to sweat this off immediately. 95 00:04:13,561 --> 00:04:15,040 There are things in my blood! 96 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:17,665 I'll distract the press, you sneak him downstairs. 97 00:04:17,671 --> 00:04:19,064 There's a steam room on the second floor. 98 00:04:19,070 --> 00:04:20,361 - Come on, let's go. - What? 99 00:04:20,367 --> 00:04:22,267 - Let's get up. We're going to the steam room - Where are we going? 100 00:04:22,733 --> 00:04:24,543 I'm not ready to take our relationship to that level. 101 00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:26,066 [FEMALE REPORTER] What happened to your son? 102 00:04:26,072 --> 00:04:27,755 Yeah, will he give the speech at the gala? 103 00:04:27,761 --> 00:04:29,739 - (REPORTERS CLAMORING) - No, settle down, settle down everyone. 104 00:04:29,745 --> 00:04:32,317 There's just a perfectly good explanation for all of this. 105 00:04:33,144 --> 00:04:34,722 He will not be coming out right now 106 00:04:34,728 --> 00:04:37,470 because clearly, he needs his rest. 107 00:04:38,001 --> 00:04:41,876 Our only son has been tasked with filling the shoes 108 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,220 - of a legendary man. - [JOE] Mom! My mom! 109 00:04:44,226 --> 00:04:47,360 He came here to prove to the aerobics community 110 00:04:47,366 --> 00:04:49,337 that he has what it takes to change his life, 111 00:04:49,343 --> 00:04:51,360 and to continue our legacy. 112 00:04:51,366 --> 00:04:53,345 - That dedication - [JOE] My mom! 113 00:04:53,351 --> 00:04:55,273 has lead to sheer exhaustion, 114 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:57,968 and that's what he's recovering from right now. 115 00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:03,037 Oh, I will be giving the speech at the CAC Gala tonight, 116 00:05:03,165 --> 00:05:05,743 but mark my words, Joseph will be dancing tomorrow. 117 00:05:06,141 --> 00:05:08,958 (DISTORTED SPEECH) Okay, can't take this out for one hour. 118 00:05:09,034 --> 00:05:10,234 Huh? 119 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,850 ( DISTORTED) You can't take this out for one hour, 120 00:05:11,856 --> 00:05:13,634 - or it'll stain your teeth. - Uh, yeah. 121 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,454 Where are we going? The steam room's the other way. 122 00:05:15,460 --> 00:05:20,073 Uh, we aren't going anywhere. I am going to get revenge. 123 00:05:20,177 --> 00:05:22,259 Alone, so shoo shoo. 124 00:05:22,265 --> 00:05:24,573 Wow, you are such a jerk when you're on drugs. 125 00:05:24,579 --> 00:05:26,956 - (SIGHS) - Fine, go alone! 126 00:05:26,962 --> 00:05:28,257 Alright. 127 00:05:28,263 --> 00:05:29,805 (PILL BOTTLE RATTLING) 128 00:05:29,811 --> 00:05:32,797 You want a lesson? Need you. Hey, come on, Barry. 129 00:05:32,803 --> 00:05:34,906 - (KNOCKING) - (DISTORTED) Who is it? 130 00:05:35,492 --> 00:05:36,922 I don't hear nothing. (GASPS) 131 00:05:36,928 --> 00:05:38,914 Maybe they sent us a bottle of champagne! 132 00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:41,180 You're a champagning star, Barry! 133 00:05:41,773 --> 00:05:42,979 (DOOR CREAKS) 134 00:05:42,985 --> 00:05:45,334 Well, well well. 135 00:05:45,547 --> 00:05:47,862 (SLURRED SPEECH) Who here wants to play a game, huh? 136 00:05:47,951 --> 00:05:51,350 It's called two truths and a lie. 137 00:05:51,930 --> 00:05:54,281 Barry Cross, I hate your guts, 138 00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:56,398 Claudia, I still have feelings for you, 139 00:05:56,404 --> 00:05:58,685 and somebody in this room... 140 00:05:59,873 --> 00:06:02,274 owns half of Fitness by Force, and it's not me. 141 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:03,779 It's not me, guess who it is. 142 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:09,369 Oh! You lose! All three of 'em were true! 143 00:06:09,477 --> 00:06:14,283 Yeah, your wife has been cheating on you, Barry with her money. 144 00:06:14,289 --> 00:06:17,906 Yeah, she thinks I could beat you in finals, so she's hedging her bets. 145 00:06:17,912 --> 00:06:20,525 She gave me $50,000 for half of my business. 146 00:06:20,531 --> 00:06:22,516 - (LAUGHS) - (DISTORTED) Claudia, is this true? 147 00:06:22,522 --> 00:06:25,460 (DISTORTED) Okay, relax, okay, I can explain. 148 00:06:25,466 --> 00:06:28,690 Uh, ah, I can ex... uh... Argh! 149 00:06:28,696 --> 00:06:29,975 (SPEAKING NORMALLY) I can explain. 150 00:06:29,981 --> 00:06:32,070 - (DISTORTED) You betrayed me? - What? 151 00:06:32,076 --> 00:06:34,258 (DISTORTED) You betrayed me?! 152 00:06:34,264 --> 00:06:36,925 Uh, okay, listen, trust me. I can explain everything 153 00:06:36,931 --> 00:06:38,924 once he leaves. I know what I'm doing. 154 00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:41,207 Leave? I'm not leaving! 155 00:06:41,213 --> 00:06:43,519 This is the greatest moment of my life! 156 00:06:43,525 --> 00:06:45,753 This is better than winning anything! 157 00:06:45,759 --> 00:06:49,500 (GUFFAWS LOUDLY) 158 00:06:52,693 --> 00:06:55,864 - Oh my God! - (THUDS AND GROANS) 159 00:06:55,870 --> 00:06:57,167 (DISTORTED) What a loser. 160 00:06:57,173 --> 00:06:59,678 (GROANING CONTINUES) 161 00:07:00,458 --> 00:07:03,458 (EERIE MUSIC) 162 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,165 (GASPS) 163 00:07:05,654 --> 00:07:08,121 (FOOTSTEPS) 164 00:07:11,366 --> 00:07:12,566 Dad? 165 00:07:16,654 --> 00:07:17,859 (KNOCKING) 166 00:07:17,865 --> 00:07:21,132 Son! 05:00 wake up call for finals. 167 00:07:21,138 --> 00:07:23,734 Time for body and bag inspection. 168 00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,951 Oh no, I'm dead! I'm dead! 169 00:07:26,957 --> 00:07:28,157 I wish. 170 00:07:28,658 --> 00:07:31,249 - Oh my God! - Don't ask me, this is your dream. 171 00:07:31,441 --> 00:07:32,646 Oh, so I'm dreaming? 172 00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:34,552 Even though you're dressed like an angel, I'm not dead? 173 00:07:34,558 --> 00:07:36,949 I'm dressed like an angel because your brain is a turd. 174 00:07:37,659 --> 00:07:39,841 And right now you're passed out on a hotel room floor 175 00:07:39,847 --> 00:07:41,972 soaked in a puddle of your own piss. 176 00:07:42,112 --> 00:07:44,097 - Ah, that makes sense. - Pay attention. 177 00:07:44,103 --> 00:07:46,996 This is a journey of self-exploration, Joe. 178 00:07:47,002 --> 00:07:50,027 One that will allow you to examine various versions of your life. 179 00:07:50,033 --> 00:07:51,899 Past, present and future. 180 00:07:52,417 --> 00:07:53,908 Welcome to your past. 181 00:07:54,663 --> 00:07:55,990 Oh my God! 182 00:07:56,755 --> 00:08:00,364 Later today, you lose to, well... (CHUCKLES) me. 183 00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:04,375 Oh, this is the finals! Right! 184 00:08:04,648 --> 00:08:07,796 Oh yeah, and I was gonna propose to Claudia if I had won. 185 00:08:07,802 --> 00:08:09,823 Yeah, we know how this one turns out, don't we. 186 00:08:09,894 --> 00:08:13,189 A pawned ring, decades of self-destructive debauchery. 187 00:08:13,903 --> 00:08:15,998 Would you care to see how your life would turn out 188 00:08:16,004 --> 00:08:17,652 had you won that day? 189 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,622 - I don't know, Barry, would I? - (MOCKINGLY) I don't know, Joe, would you? 190 00:08:20,628 --> 00:08:22,042 - (MOCKINGLY) Yeah, I probably would. - (MOCKINGLY) Yeah, you probably would. 191 00:08:22,048 --> 00:08:23,732 (NORMAL VOICE) Shut up! Are you ready? 192 00:08:23,738 --> 00:08:25,037 (MAGIC SOUND) 193 00:08:25,043 --> 00:08:26,347 What is this? 194 00:08:26,550 --> 00:08:29,503 This is how we step into time. 195 00:08:29,784 --> 00:08:31,700 Five, six, seven, eight. 196 00:08:31,706 --> 00:08:34,995 - [HARMONIZING] ♪ Here we go! ♪ - [HARMONIZING] ♪ Here we go! ♪ 197 00:08:35,001 --> 00:08:36,714 Why am I singing?! 198 00:08:39,005 --> 00:08:43,379 (INTENSE WHIMSICAL MUSIC) 199 00:08:43,804 --> 00:08:45,004 (SIGH) 200 00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:48,015 Sacrilege, this hurts me just lookin' at it. 201 00:08:48,087 --> 00:08:49,471 What is this? 202 00:08:49,590 --> 00:08:50,889 [ANGEL] I just told you. 203 00:08:50,895 --> 00:08:53,569 This is your life if you had won when we were teenagers. 204 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,286 - _ - (ARROGANT CHUCKLE) 205 00:08:55,292 --> 00:08:57,578 Hey, babe, Davey and Posh Beckham 206 00:08:57,584 --> 00:08:59,366 are wondering if we're doing another fitness camp 207 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,061 - at Burning Man. - (SCOFFS) 208 00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:03,727 [CLAUDIA] It really helped to boost our social media presence 209 00:09:03,733 --> 00:09:06,119 but it wasn't worth dealing with those dirty hippies. 210 00:09:06,125 --> 00:09:08,836 - Yeah. - [CLAUDIA] Can we go to Cannes instead? 211 00:09:08,842 --> 00:09:12,532 - Sure, just keep me away from the bread. - Mmm. 212 00:09:12,625 --> 00:09:14,732 French gluten'll be the death of me. 213 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,331 I win one stupid aerobics competition 214 00:09:17,337 --> 00:09:19,344 - and I turn into a fitness douche bag? - (CLAUDIA GIGGLES) 215 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:22,323 Uh, Mr. Force, excuse me is n-n-n-n... 216 00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:25,120 now a good time for me to p-p-p... 217 00:09:25,126 --> 00:09:30,651 polish your t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t... trophies? 218 00:09:30,841 --> 00:09:32,843 - (CLAUDIA SIGHS) - Go ahead... 219 00:09:33,638 --> 00:09:35,577 - (CLAUDIA GIGGLES) - but don't look at us. 220 00:09:35,583 --> 00:09:38,507 (MOANING AND GIGGLING) 221 00:09:38,513 --> 00:09:40,102 (LAUGHS) 222 00:09:40,108 --> 00:09:42,671 If I had won, I'd be married to Claudia, 223 00:09:42,677 --> 00:09:45,874 I'd have a successful gym and you'd be my stuttering man-servant? 224 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:48,577 Yes, uh, things, uh, took a downhill turn for me 225 00:09:48,583 --> 00:09:50,061 - after I lost to you. - Oh. 226 00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,280 - You have to check me into rehab, twice, - Ooh. 227 00:09:52,286 --> 00:09:54,167 - for sniffing glue. - (JOE CHUCKLES) 228 00:09:54,173 --> 00:09:56,858 But I do credit your best-selling book, Force of Habit, 229 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,935 - for being my fitness mantra - (CLAUDIA LAUGHING AND MOANING) 230 00:09:58,941 --> 00:10:00,646 and changing my life. 231 00:10:00,652 --> 00:10:04,152 And I'm a best-selling author. Oh, man! 232 00:10:04,158 --> 00:10:05,521 (LAUGHING) 233 00:10:05,527 --> 00:10:08,211 Oh, ooh, can I see your timeline? 234 00:10:08,217 --> 00:10:09,804 - Uh... (SIGHS) - Please, Angel Barry, I just wanna see 235 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,283 your lowest low. Did you give hand jobs for glue money? 236 00:10:12,289 --> 00:10:13,489 Who told...?! 237 00:10:13,789 --> 00:10:15,203 This is about you. 238 00:10:16,008 --> 00:10:18,295 Fine, I'll just stay here and watch me have sex with your wife. 239 00:10:18,301 --> 00:10:19,776 Get on the stepper, asshole, 240 00:10:19,782 --> 00:10:22,176 it's time to see what happens to your future if you lose tomorrow. 241 00:10:22,182 --> 00:10:23,887 No! I wanna watch me do it. 242 00:10:23,893 --> 00:10:26,496 I can make you shit yourself with one snap of my fingers. 243 00:10:26,502 --> 00:10:28,486 - Yeah? Okay, do it. Oh, you can? - Yeah, I can do it. 244 00:10:28,492 --> 00:10:30,096 - Oh, you can? Oh, yeah? Yeah, go for it. - Yeah, I will do it. Do you want me to snap my fingers? 245 00:10:30,102 --> 00:10:31,393 - You're gonna shit your pants. - Oh, yeah, ha-ha. 246 00:10:31,399 --> 00:10:33,182 - (SNAPS) - (FARTING) Ah! Ah! 247 00:10:33,188 --> 00:10:35,402 Ahh, man there's so much! 248 00:10:35,408 --> 00:10:38,854 Fine I'll do it, just snap it away please. 249 00:10:39,143 --> 00:10:41,433 - (SNAP AND MAGICAL FLOURISH) - (SIGH) Ah, thank you. 250 00:10:41,729 --> 00:10:44,340 - (SIGHING) - Five, six, seven, eight. 251 00:10:44,346 --> 00:10:47,656 (INTENSE WHIMSICAL MUSIC) 252 00:10:47,662 --> 00:10:50,295 Oh, this isn't so bad. 253 00:10:50,487 --> 00:10:53,177 Huh. Do I move here and start at life of folk music, 254 00:10:53,183 --> 00:10:55,690 fishing and full-breasted country bumpkins? 255 00:10:55,901 --> 00:10:57,293 Oh, you don't live here. 256 00:10:57,495 --> 00:11:01,047 This is your future if you don't make it to finals tomorrow. 257 00:11:02,045 --> 00:11:05,956 This fresh air. That Joe Force restraining order. 258 00:11:05,962 --> 00:11:08,056 - I can finally breathe again. - (CLAUDIA SIGHS) 259 00:11:08,151 --> 00:11:10,560 - Restraining order? - Just watch. 260 00:11:10,575 --> 00:11:13,352 This break is giving me time to think about our future. 261 00:11:14,438 --> 00:11:16,554 - It's not too late to try again. - A child? 262 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,633 Yes, a Cross-bred fitness god, 263 00:11:18,639 --> 00:11:20,858 let's do it right here under the warmth of the sun. 264 00:11:20,864 --> 00:11:23,046 Did you just bring me to watch your date? 265 00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:25,059 Watch. 266 00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:28,158 (INTENSE MUSIC) 267 00:11:28,164 --> 00:11:29,572 - (CLATTERS) - (GASPS) 268 00:11:29,578 --> 00:11:30,778 (KISS) 269 00:11:31,783 --> 00:11:34,565 - _ - (SCREAMING) 270 00:11:34,666 --> 00:11:37,950 (SCREAMING CONTINUES) 271 00:11:38,453 --> 00:11:39,754 - What...? - Look at you. 272 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,155 Look at what you've become. 273 00:11:41,161 --> 00:11:42,624 What'd I do to my hair? 274 00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:45,711 - (CLAUDIA SCREAMING) - [BARRY] Run! 275 00:11:45,717 --> 00:11:50,040 - Okay. Okay. - (BOTH PANTING) 276 00:11:50,516 --> 00:11:52,205 Nothing can harm us now. 277 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:54,024 - (INTENSE FLOURISH) - (GASP AND SCREAMING) 278 00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:56,303 It all could of been different Mr. Cross. 279 00:11:56,309 --> 00:11:58,602 You shoulda just let nature take its course. 280 00:11:58,795 --> 00:12:00,808 It will in the end anyhow. 281 00:12:00,814 --> 00:12:02,500 - So open the car. - (WHIMPERS) 282 00:12:02,506 --> 00:12:05,016 - Open the fucking car! - (SCREAMING) 283 00:12:05,022 --> 00:12:07,181 - (POUNDING) - Drive! Drive! 284 00:12:07,187 --> 00:12:08,666 I turn into a psychopath?! 285 00:12:08,672 --> 00:12:11,980 - (SCREAMING) - (POUNDING) 286 00:12:11,986 --> 00:12:14,486 No, no, no, no. Make it stop, take me away! 287 00:12:14,492 --> 00:12:16,386 [BARRY] Nooo! 288 00:12:16,392 --> 00:12:20,141 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 289 00:12:20,219 --> 00:12:22,955 Honestly, Angel Barry, I don't know how much more of this I can take. 290 00:12:22,961 --> 00:12:24,468 This is the last step, Joe. 291 00:12:24,735 --> 00:12:28,172 This is your future if you win tomorrow. 292 00:12:28,446 --> 00:12:33,512 It is such an honor to host the CAC Gala 2039 293 00:12:33,518 --> 00:12:36,803 just like my dearest Mummy Wintrest before me. 294 00:12:36,809 --> 00:12:39,116 Tonight we are here to honor the man 295 00:12:39,122 --> 00:12:44,050 who ushered in a new era of aerobics, Joe Force. 296 00:12:44,056 --> 00:12:45,423 (APPLAUSE) 297 00:12:45,429 --> 00:12:48,430 Oh wow. I look pretty good for an old guy. 298 00:12:48,436 --> 00:12:51,295 And to present this life time achievement award 299 00:12:51,301 --> 00:12:55,460 I'd like to welcome to the stage, his best friend, Barry Cross. 300 00:12:55,466 --> 00:12:57,671 - Thank you, thank you. - (APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING) 301 00:12:58,370 --> 00:13:00,703 What? Why do you look the same? 302 00:13:00,770 --> 00:13:02,209 I know, I look great don't I? 303 00:13:02,378 --> 00:13:04,058 Seminal retention. 304 00:13:04,389 --> 00:13:07,304 Holyfield versus Tyson, Kerrigan versus Harding, 305 00:13:07,310 --> 00:13:09,928 - a bloody ear, a busted kneecap, - (CROWD MURMURS) 306 00:13:10,109 --> 00:13:11,912 rivalries can bring out the worst in us. 307 00:13:11,918 --> 00:13:14,508 God, you are boring, even in the future. 308 00:13:14,514 --> 00:13:18,155 Now, 20 years ago, I lost to my own doughboy. 309 00:13:18,366 --> 00:13:19,711 Mmm, you pudgy. 310 00:13:19,745 --> 00:13:22,054 And that day changed our lives forever. 311 00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:24,946 You see, my cookie dough loving friend here 312 00:13:24,952 --> 00:13:26,867 he pushed me the right way 313 00:13:26,873 --> 00:13:30,841 and together we elevated the game we love, competitive aerobics, 314 00:13:30,847 --> 00:13:33,142 to the next level and I'm gonna be honest with you. 315 00:13:33,148 --> 00:13:35,943 Joe went through some major hard times. 316 00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,037 Aww, come on, what happened to old Joe? 317 00:13:38,043 --> 00:13:40,255 Cataracts, early onset dementia, 318 00:13:40,261 --> 00:13:42,065 incontinence, sprained ankle. 319 00:13:42,135 --> 00:13:43,867 Eight failed marriages. 320 00:13:43,873 --> 00:13:45,579 - Wow, I got married eight times? - (FUTURE BARRY CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) 321 00:13:45,585 --> 00:13:47,359 Yeah, divorced ten. 322 00:13:47,365 --> 00:13:49,968 And of course the infamous penis accident of 2024. 323 00:13:49,974 --> 00:13:52,305 - Oh no, what happened to my dick? - There was a rattle snake. 324 00:13:52,311 --> 00:13:55,356 But here he is, non-responsive non-communicative, 325 00:13:55,362 --> 00:14:01,795 no idea why he's here, where he is, who you are and yet here he is. 326 00:14:01,801 --> 00:14:04,510 - What about you, did anything bad happen to you? - No. 327 00:14:04,516 --> 00:14:07,394 Tonight, I celebrate us. 328 00:14:07,691 --> 00:14:10,799 In taking your hand, forever champions! 329 00:14:10,805 --> 00:14:12,329 (ROARING APPLAUSE) 330 00:14:12,335 --> 00:14:14,305 Thank you, thank you. 331 00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:16,924 Um, are you gonna say anything actually positive about him? 332 00:14:16,930 --> 00:14:19,603 - This is... this is his award. - Yes. 333 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:23,888 Uh, um, oh. Yeah, uh, big guy... 334 00:14:24,474 --> 00:14:26,997 This is for you, take it! 335 00:14:28,362 --> 00:14:31,777 Uh, check him cause I think I smell a poopy, 'Kay? 336 00:14:34,253 --> 00:14:38,261 - (CLAPPING) - (APPLAUSE) 337 00:14:38,562 --> 00:14:40,875 So, my future's terrible no matter what? 338 00:14:41,152 --> 00:14:44,066 Your future is what you make of it, Joe. 339 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:45,973 So don't be a bitch. 340 00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:48,559 (SIGHS) Barry, why are you so hard on me? 341 00:14:49,229 --> 00:14:50,627 I'm hard on you... 342 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:55,630 - because I'm your best friend. - What? Why are you shaking me? 343 00:14:55,636 --> 00:14:57,338 (SCREAMING) 344 00:14:57,344 --> 00:14:58,651 What was that...? (GASPS) 345 00:14:59,111 --> 00:15:00,801 Barry Cross is my best friend! 346 00:15:00,807 --> 00:15:02,102 - (SLAPS) - Argh! 347 00:15:02,108 --> 00:15:04,687 God, Mom, I'm awake! 348 00:15:04,693 --> 00:15:06,097 Well, that's not why I hit you. 349 00:15:06,103 --> 00:15:09,672 I am tired of your antics, Joseph, you've become a liability. 350 00:15:09,678 --> 00:15:12,676 - Mom, you're overreacting. - Oh, really? 351 00:15:12,848 --> 00:15:16,147 Well, Tina found you passed out in Barry's room 352 00:15:16,153 --> 00:15:18,756 she had to drag your limp body through the kitchen 353 00:15:18,762 --> 00:15:20,546 so that the press didn't see you. 354 00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:22,742 You're a good friend. Huh. 355 00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:24,571 Where are you going? 356 00:15:24,577 --> 00:15:26,545 I'm getting ready for my speech! 357 00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:29,053 Absolutely not! We have too much on the line. 358 00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:32,192 If Barry even senses any weakness he'll just pounce again. 359 00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:33,612 Mom, I've got this. 360 00:15:33,618 --> 00:15:36,091 I just got back from my spiritual journey with Barry. 361 00:15:36,097 --> 00:15:37,917 - (SCOFFS) - We're good now! 362 00:15:37,923 --> 00:15:40,099 Well, you are absolutely not speaking tonight. 363 00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:43,902 Unless I die between now and the gala I am giving a speech! 364 00:15:43,908 --> 00:15:45,108 Fine! 365 00:15:45,217 --> 00:15:48,292 One jumbled sentence and I will have Mrs. Winters 366 00:15:48,298 --> 00:15:49,971 rip that microphone out of your hand. 367 00:15:49,977 --> 00:15:51,386 Damn right I will. 368 00:15:51,392 --> 00:15:53,102 You can rip whatever you want. 369 00:15:53,108 --> 00:15:55,881 - (CHUCKLES) - (CRASHES) 370 00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:57,988 - He's a mess! - I can get him out of it, 371 00:15:57,994 --> 00:16:00,380 I just need charcoal, cayenne pepper and a turkey baster. 372 00:16:00,386 --> 00:16:02,263 - A turkey baster? - Yep. 373 00:16:02,951 --> 00:16:05,162 - Joseph, that's not a toilet. - (STRAINING) 374 00:16:05,168 --> 00:16:07,279 - (STRAINING AND FARTING) - Oh! 375 00:16:09,178 --> 00:16:12,475 - (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) - Thank you, Seattle Superbodies. 376 00:16:12,481 --> 00:16:16,867 Oh, so great, another Dancetarian for you shelves. 377 00:16:16,873 --> 00:16:19,586 Their aerobics programs in Filipino prisons 378 00:16:19,592 --> 00:16:22,538 are inspiring inmates around the world. 379 00:16:22,613 --> 00:16:23,908 Now, I know it's getting late, 380 00:16:23,914 --> 00:16:26,722 and everyone needs to rest up for the finals tomorrow. 381 00:16:26,728 --> 00:16:28,214 So, without further ado, 382 00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:32,019 I would like to introduce our last speaker to the stage. 383 00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:37,317 Joe Force will be accepting the CAC Icon Award 384 00:16:37,323 --> 00:16:41,606 on behalf of his father, the dearly beloved Colonel Force. 385 00:16:41,612 --> 00:16:44,612 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE AND WHOOPING) 386 00:16:51,463 --> 00:16:52,663 Thank you. 387 00:16:53,592 --> 00:16:55,489 Biting someone's ear off. 388 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,782 Smashing knee caps. 389 00:16:57,788 --> 00:16:59,088 Cookie dough. 390 00:16:59,094 --> 00:17:01,631 Those are the things I think about when I think about... 391 00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,720 - Barry Cross. - Um, are you okay, 392 00:17:03,726 --> 00:17:05,928 - because your mother told me... Okay. - Yeah. No, I'm fine, I just... I'm... 393 00:17:05,934 --> 00:17:07,534 - Okay. - I'm going through with this. 394 00:17:08,825 --> 00:17:11,984 My father was a, ah, juggernaut. 395 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,992 The King of Aerobics. 396 00:17:13,998 --> 00:17:17,899 The most important man in the history of our sport. 397 00:17:18,503 --> 00:17:22,362 But, he faced competition. 398 00:17:22,665 --> 00:17:24,233 But what did he do about it? 399 00:17:24,731 --> 00:17:28,323 - He said bring it the fuck on! - (CROWD MURMURS IN SHOCK AND AGREEMENT) 400 00:17:28,329 --> 00:17:33,208 Because he knew that competition made him stronger. 401 00:17:33,918 --> 00:17:35,620 Well, what did I do, huh? 402 00:17:35,910 --> 00:17:37,893 Huh, what did I do, Dad? 403 00:17:38,092 --> 00:17:41,326 I lost one time, and I ran away from home. 404 00:17:41,332 --> 00:17:44,390 (CLICKS MOUTH) I, uh, started a terrible band, 405 00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:46,437 built a bar in my car, 406 00:17:46,443 --> 00:17:49,875 had sex with a lot of women that I know regret it, 407 00:17:50,057 --> 00:17:54,156 and, uh, lived off of a potato-based diet for years... 408 00:17:54,162 --> 00:17:57,244 and whiskey, and rum, I mean, a lot of alcohol, 409 00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:59,564 and drugs. It's not... it's not my point. 410 00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:03,272 My point is, people say that when starting aerobics, 411 00:18:03,278 --> 00:18:06,387 all you have to do is learn how to take the first step. 412 00:18:06,474 --> 00:18:08,098 So, I'm gonna do that tonight. 413 00:18:09,474 --> 00:18:10,872 (SIGHS) 414 00:18:11,175 --> 00:18:14,993 I'm gonna invite my rival, my friend, 415 00:18:15,338 --> 00:18:18,165 Barry Cross, to the stage. Barry Cross, ladies and gentlemen. 416 00:18:18,171 --> 00:18:22,969 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE, WHISTLING AND WHOOPING) 417 00:18:22,975 --> 00:18:26,644 You see, aerobics is not about fighting. 418 00:18:26,650 --> 00:18:31,951 It's about using competition to make yourself better. 419 00:18:31,957 --> 00:18:33,460 (AUDIENCE MURMURS APPROVAL) 420 00:18:33,466 --> 00:18:37,184 To Colonel Tom Force, the King of Aerobics. 421 00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:40,423 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 422 00:18:40,735 --> 00:18:43,760 Hear that? It's a freight train. It's coming straight for ya. 423 00:18:43,975 --> 00:18:47,365 I'm gonna mow you down and have sex with your wife. Choo-choo! 424 00:18:47,371 --> 00:18:48,680 (LAUGHING) 425 00:18:48,686 --> 00:18:50,290 You son of a bitch. 426 00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:53,053 I hate you. Your father hated you. 427 00:18:53,059 --> 00:18:54,965 Your mother's gonna hate you when I beat you. 428 00:18:54,971 --> 00:18:57,938 You know what? I'm gonna put her to work for me in my juice bar, 429 00:18:57,944 --> 00:19:01,049 tight clothes, 20-year-old douche bags objectifying her 430 00:19:01,055 --> 00:19:03,650 from morning to night. She's gonna reek of codfish liver oil. 431 00:19:03,656 --> 00:19:05,744 (BOTH LAUGHING) 432 00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:10,127 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 433 00:19:11,027 --> 00:19:15,410 Let's get ready to tumble! 434 00:19:15,416 --> 00:19:17,753 - (ELECTRONIC MUSIC) - (KNOCKING) 435 00:19:23,952 --> 00:19:25,152 Hey. 436 00:19:25,741 --> 00:19:27,124 We need to talk. 437 00:19:27,639 --> 00:19:29,844 - Come in. - Barry won't speak to me. (SIGHS) 438 00:19:29,850 --> 00:19:32,946 He's turned off his phone, moved into a new suite, 439 00:19:32,952 --> 00:19:35,747 locked himself into his portable hyperbolic chamber. (SIGHS) 440 00:19:35,753 --> 00:19:37,979 Oh, no. How could he? 441 00:19:37,985 --> 00:19:40,669 I don't know, I... Oh, don't even pretend like you care. 442 00:19:40,675 --> 00:19:42,684 You're the reason that this has all happened. 443 00:19:42,690 --> 00:19:45,262 You stormed into my room and dropped a bomb on my marriage, 444 00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:46,651 and now I'm never gonna win my husband back. 445 00:19:46,657 --> 00:19:49,035 I'm sorry, I was high on diet pills. 446 00:19:49,041 --> 00:19:50,426 Oh, this is why I don't help people 447 00:19:50,432 --> 00:19:52,835 because when you help people things get messy. 448 00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,426 (BOTH SIGH) 449 00:19:54,432 --> 00:19:55,940 - What is this? - Oh, um, 450 00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:58,639 I'm rehearsing my finals performance. It's amazing. 451 00:19:58,645 --> 00:19:59,867 I'm sure. 452 00:20:00,078 --> 00:20:01,420 Do you need a place to stay? 453 00:20:01,426 --> 00:20:02,810 No, I just... 454 00:20:03,489 --> 00:20:07,811 Don't do that. Stop... Don't! You always do that shit. 455 00:20:08,209 --> 00:20:09,409 (CLAUDIA SIGHS) 456 00:20:09,896 --> 00:20:11,308 So, why are you here? 457 00:20:11,314 --> 00:20:15,300 Because I can't control either of you idiots. (SIGHS) 458 00:20:16,386 --> 00:20:19,331 But, I can help you win this thing. 459 00:20:20,394 --> 00:20:22,998 If everything goes south, and I get divorced after all this, 460 00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:24,672 I am gonna need that money more than you do. 461 00:20:24,678 --> 00:20:25,878 Oh... 462 00:20:27,106 --> 00:20:29,517 - Really? - Divorces are expensive. 463 00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:32,054 (SIGHS) 464 00:20:32,585 --> 00:20:33,866 So... 465 00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:35,708 So, what? 466 00:20:35,874 --> 00:20:37,883 So, show me what you got. 467 00:20:40,383 --> 00:20:41,671 Huh... oh, my... 468 00:20:41,677 --> 00:20:43,400 - Oh, my routine. - Mmm. 469 00:20:43,406 --> 00:20:45,632 - (LAUGHING) Oh, right, okay. Here we go again. - Yeah. Okay. Oh, okay. 470 00:20:45,638 --> 00:20:48,625 - Here, sit down. Sit. - Okay, go... (CHUCKLES) 471 00:20:48,631 --> 00:20:52,388 - (SIGHS) - Okay, and I got these, a little muzak. 472 00:20:52,394 --> 00:20:54,693 (ROCK MUSIC) 473 00:20:56,639 --> 00:20:58,458 [JOE VOICE-OVER] On the next Let's Get Physical... 474 00:20:58,464 --> 00:21:01,936 What is it gonna take for you two to stay on your marks? 475 00:21:01,942 --> 00:21:03,334 Colonel's got millions a dollars. 476 00:21:03,340 --> 00:21:06,022 You sold half our gym to Claudia?! 477 00:21:06,028 --> 00:21:08,030 You two-faced, skanky waif. 478 00:21:08,036 --> 00:21:10,981 Stay until the end of the finals, and then we'll figure it out. 479 00:21:10,987 --> 00:21:13,171 I'm gonna give the greatest losing performance 480 00:21:13,177 --> 00:21:16,968 anyone has ever seen. Holy shit, I'm gonna win. 481 00:21:18,270 --> 00:21:19,819 (SQUEAKY VOICE) Grandma's house. 482 00:21:19,825 --> 00:21:24,825 Sync and corrections by PetaG - www.addic7ed.com -